Years ago, I professed my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and proclaimed to all that I gave my life....and I meant it. But until now, Bill and I never truly knew what it means to really give up your life for whatever God needs. We have been away from family and friends now for two months, and even though that is a miniscule amount of time, it has seemed like years and we have just floated around, wondering where our next day will take us, holding on to faith in the Lord that he has everything taken care of. But when you really have nothing or no one to lean on, quite frankly, it is so very lonely. This is probably the most down and out time Bill and I have personally ever experienced.....or at least it feels like it. And every day we go from doubt to faith, happy to sad....a roller coaster of emotions.
It would be so easy to give up right now....just throw in the towel and politely tell Jesus that he had the wrong two people in mind when he sent us to Chile.....wow, that just seems ridiculous to read what I just wrote. But it is how I feel....so scary when you don't feel in control.....and these words cannot possibly express how down Bill and I are right now.....but what does control have to do with faith?
Today, now more than ever before, I have to prove my love to my Lord, who has taken such excellent care of my family, friends, and me that I could never explain, much less pay back, all that He has done....and now Bill and I have been brought to a place where we have to walk the talk and show Him that we believe even though we do not yet see His purpose.....giving my life....whew, this is hard!
Salvation is not free....whoever said that didn't pay for it, had no skin in the game. We were bought with a price...thank you, Jesus.
Hebrews 11:1 Faith is the substance of things HOPED for, and the EVIDENCE of things UNSEEN! God doesn't owe us a future glimpse of what is to come. But he loves us enough to lead us always in the right direction. This I know.
If anyone actually reads this blog, as simple as it is, please pray for us to not let God down any longer with our pity parties and sinful nature....just because we can't yet see the light.
You never know when you say "yes" to God where He will take you. Just know that He is there with you. We are too as we share in your ministry. We are praying for guidance for you as you continue. You just need a keyboard with batteries!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your words, as usual, Susan. Love you.
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